Home Style Guide – Brought to you by Federated Media

When my husband and I were newly married, we furnished our tiny apartment with hand-me-down corduroy couches, $19 folding chairs we bought at an import store, and old pots and pans borrowed from our parents’ kitchens. Fifteen years later, I’m looking at a house full of furniture and belongings we gathered as we rolled along, had kids, and made a little more money. And, while our home certainly looks nicer and feels more comfortable than our humble newlywed apartment did, it also comes with a weight I don’t always feel like carrying.

We’re not super-acquirers, but we’ve got your average complement of “grownup house” trappings. Martini glasses we have no idea what to do with, tablecloths that sit, folded and unused, in a hallway drawer, a wine vacuum pump (?). All stuff we figured we’d need, or we’d gotten as gifts, or we’d collected during our travels. Problem is, sorting, cleaning, maintaining, and putting away this “stuff” takes up quite a bit of time, especially with two kids conspiring to undo my feeble attempts at order.

Stuff has a way of taking on a life of its own: demanding one’s attention and care but giving little in return. And so, a subtle turnaround has taken place in our home. We now get as excited about getting rid of stuff as we used to about getting it in the first place. Every trip to the resale shop or Goodwill yields a thrill. Every item sold on Craigslist feels like a triumph. Everything passed on to a friend (or stranger) in need regains a bit of its luster. And with each bag or box that leaves our house, life feels a bit more open. With the extra room in the closet comes room to breathe.

The homemaking guru Flylady calls decluttering “blessing the world” with your stuff. I used to scoff at her euphemism, but I’ve come to believe that she’s onto something. Not only am I setting my stuff free so it can help or delight someone else, I’m setting myself free as well.

by Asha Dornfest, Parent Hacks

Not everyone has a devoted play room, but even those who do need smart, stylish storage for the toys. Something that looks good, holds up, and is easy and reasonable to use (because even the cleverest storage system isn’t worth much if it’s hard for the kids to put their toys away).

Here are a few options I love — each works perfectly in a child’s bedroom or play area, but could also hold its own in a common area, or could find a new life once the kids have outgrown their toys. Who knows — they may even make it to your kid’s dorm room someday.

Via Toy Box

This Portland, Oregon-based company builds beautiful birch cubbies that can be mixed and matched in any number of ways. The colors aren’t too precious, and the form is simple and elegant. Add shelves or closet rods and you could build a system for just about any space in your home.

IKEA

If you’re lucky enough to live in an IKEA-graced city (as I am, FINALLY), you’ve got your pick of inexpensive, well-designed storage systems. We’ve got this TROFAST unit in our basement, and we find it’s ideal for the collections of small toys — the cars, the blocks, the train tracks, and, our favorite, “the random bin.”

Target

And then there’s Target. Lovely Target, where you can buy laundry detergent, school supplies and a cute top in one fell swoop. Target’s kids’ furniture offerings are simply designed and well-priced (assuming you don’t have an IKEA in town). This six-bin storage unit would work as well in an entry as it would in a playroom. The fabric bins are best suited toward lightweight toys, but they’re easy for kids to pull in and out.

Tip: Weed out unused and broken toys before you purchase new storage. You won’t overbuy, and you’ll have a better idea about how many bins or boxes you need. Once you get your new storage in place, rotate the kids’ toys every few weeks to keep them interesting.

Ah, the home office. It’s a bit of euphemism around here because I tend to throw paperwork and “to-do” items into my cluttered office, close the door, and then haul my laptop to the kitchen table.

While my office may not be a squaky-clean picture of IKEA efficiency, I’ve learned a thing or two about integrating working at home into my family life. Home-office organizing tips abound, most of which are simple suggestions to get organized and reduce clutter. But I have found that the most important adjustments are psychological.

If you work at home, the first step is to decide that you deserve time and space to yourself. This can be tricky, especially for mothers, because we’re used to being on call for the kids. But working at home requires everyone to appreciate that, sometimes, Mom or Dad is busy with work. No guilt required.

Next, establish limits with your kids (and possibly your spouse) around who can come in to your office and when. You have permission to declare your office a “no kid zone” (assuming you have a door). At the very least, they must knock first. Sound impossible? Our kids have grown up with at least one parent working at home most of their lives, and they respect the idea of “grownup” space (and did even as toddlers). (And my kids aren’t always the best about respecting limits.) When they do get to hang out in the office (whiteboard art is a favorite activity) it feels like a real treat.

If you allow the kids in your office — and, for many of us, this feels more natural — consider making a space just for them. A small desk with a dummy keyboard and mouse, art supplies, or just-in-the-office toys can help them feel at home while you get to work.

If you’re able to, establish a few set working hours so everyone can plan around your unavailable times. Then again, the beauty of home-based work is the very flexibility that makes such advice, well, inadvisable. You want to be able to cut out during the middle of the day to play! In that case, create QUIET ZONE signs and post them on the door when you’re at work. I’ve even heard of people wearing a special “quiet hat” when they need to be left alone! Kids often need a visual cue to remind them you’re working. If they do need your attention, lay out the rules about how to let you know (a knock at the door? An “excuse me”?), and for what occasions (bloody limbs: yes, “I can’t find my Game Boy!”: no).

When it comes to your home office space, whether it’s an entire room or a corner of the kitchen, try to keep it free of the inevitable kid- and household clutter than seems to spread over everything. It’s easier to maintain psychological boundaries between work and home when there is a little physical separation as well. Create some simple filing systems, and claim a drawer or box for your supplies.

Finally, a wise piece of advice from Twitter friend gwalter: “I find that preloading my family with quality time, taking care of myself, and getting up [earlier] (or staying up later) helps.”

Resources:

How to manage kids in the home office at Web Worker Daily

Brandie Kajino’s Home Office Organizer blog

Lots of great office organization tips at Unclutterer

Work-and-family-at-home inspiration at Sparkplugging

Excellent writing (and attitude) at Buttoned Up.

As always, thanks go out to my Twitter buddies for great feedback and ideas.

My husband likes to tell the story of his mother’s all-white living room. In his childhood home, this room stood as a sparkling symbol of his mother’s ability to keep a room clean through sheer force of will. No food was allowed in this room, nor shoes, nor excessive flatulence. One held one’s breath while passing this room in case one’s exhalation fogged the glass coffee table.

He speaks of this room with a combination of admiration and resentment. As an adult, he loves nothing more than a neat space, and I’m sure he wishes our living room were a bit more pristine. But I can also hear the perspective of the kid who was kept out of part of his own home in case he “messed it up.”

Now I’m all for adult spaces in a home. I would hate for my kids to miss out on the experience of eating off of the “grown up” china, or of maintaining the sitting room as a place to relax together, but not necessarily spread out all of the toys. I also appreciate thoughtful decor. But I want the entire family to feel comfortable in our home. Our house doesn’t look like a Pottery Barn catalog picture, and I wouldn’t want it to feel that way, either.

I’m finding, as the years go by, our favorite decor and furniture either came as a result of our travels, or is worn enough to look comfortable without looking shabby. I’ve never been one who could walk into an home store (or browse an Etsy shop) and find that “just right” piece for a particular room. I have a motley collection of furniture and accessories I’ve collected as hand-me-downs, one-offs, and bargains (with a few impulse buys thrown in for fun), and I just keep rearranging them every few years. The idea of creating (or maintaining) anything as cohesive as an all-white room just doesn’t compute.

I admire the pride my mother in-law took in her home. (While it’s much more relaxed today, it continues to be spotless. Even in the presence of grandkids. Amazing.) But I’m also perfectly okay with a less-than-perfect home. I prefer to see the scratched tables and the scattered belongings as evidence of a living, breathing — comfortable — family.